9 Mindset Habits of a Recovering Perfectionist

What is your core desire?

The things my heart desired the most were:

1. Accept soul-level grace

The first step is admitting you’re not perfect.

2. Find the reason you need perfection

3. Recognize the difference between perfection and excellence

Brene Brown describes perfection this way: “If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”

4. Believe that your accomplishments are not your identity

Choosing to not claim perfectionism as my identity has its tough moments when something I achieve or try doesn’t turn out well. Receiving soul-level grace was the foundation to reminding myself that what I feel in a moment doesn’t equal my worth as a person.

5. Focus on the why instead of the end goal

Determination is both my strength and my weakness. There are times when I can be so determined to see something through that I forget the big picture.

6. Use failures to deepen your relationships

7. Prioritize what’s most important

Whenever my To Do List begins to overwhelm me, that’s my cue to evaluate the list. It’s hard ranking what is most important when I want to get it ALL done! But it’s time to get realistic.

8. Face fear head on

One year I got sick of staying safe and comfortable because of fear. So I made a decision that if fear was the only thing holding me back from an idea or opportunity, then I’d do it. I could choose not to take a risk or opportunity because it was unwise, not a priority, or just plain dumb, but I would not avoid it just because of fear. That meant I accepted opportunities like speaking in front of groups, going on a blind date, and stepping into conflict. And I became better for it.

9. Embrace the process and the journey

Don’t you love the thrill of arriving at a destination you’ve been anticipating! After all your planning, hard work, and experiencing the surprises and mishaps along the way… you’ve finally arrived!

There’s good news: You don’t have to call yourself a perfectionist any longer!

You are so much more than that label. You are someone who has an incredible part in God’s story. He’s invited you into it — not because you’re qualified, worthy or equipped. He’s invited you into a life of purpose and hope because He loves you and knows your story and message will bring that same hope to someone else.

I‘m a mom, purpose coach and author of Dare to Decide: Discovering Peace, Clarity and Courage at Life’s Crossroads (July 2020).

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